If Only
by autumnamberleaves
Summary: If only we had not been blind, we would have seen her fading.


**A/N I do not own the characters involved with the fiction. Please read the note at the bottom when finished with this story. **

_If only we had known._

Why is it that people are not truly esteemed until tragedy strikes? Until it's too late? This is the age old question that probably will never get a suitable answer to. This is the case of one such person. A damaged soul no one even knew was chipped. Sometimes a person is like a vase falling and breaking into millions of pieces in a mere second, more often a person is like a windshield, his or her hurt spider webbing their whole being until the pressure is to great and they shatter.

_If only we had known._

Looking back, we should have realized her hurt. We should have but we didn't and now it's too late. Far too late. It's our fault. If only we had paid more attention, we would have seen the subtle signs of the battle she was fighting. We failed to see them and now it's too late. I remember her smile, only a few days ago, it did not reach her eyes. Her whole face used to light up when she smiled but it failed to illuminate her eyes. Why didn't we ask her if something was wrong? We could have, we should have but we didn't. I didn't.

_If only we had known._

Her trademark was her clumsiness, a peculiarity, but nonetheless, hers'. She had said that she was too busy to notice all what she was doing and thus landed herself into some rather embarrassing situations. Why didn't we take notice of how every move she made seemed calculated now, as if she was focusing on merely being there? She used to be lost in daydreams, not anymore.

_If only we had known. _

She was always quiet, but why didn't we realize that her voice had gone silent? If we had realized it, would we have questioned her? Did she know that she could have talked to any one of us and we would have listened? Did she know or were we too self-centered to notice that she needed us? Day or night, we would have listened, if we had only known her pain.

_If only we had known. _

She had tried to talk to someone, an adult, but they failed to see to the depths of her soul. Would we have seen farther? I wish she had given us that chance, but she didn't. Did she know that she could trust us? Were we trustworthy?

"I'll see you tomorrow!" I called out to her that day. Not just any day, her birthday, her and her sisters'. I wish I had listened to an inner voice whispering an urgent yet undecipherable message. She did not answer me as she walked away, settling for smiling one of her fake smiles.

_If only I had known._

_**Tomorrow never came for her. **_

She was found three days after her birthday a few miles from her home. The official cause of death was "intentional overdose of prescription medication," but the real reason of her death was her loss of all hope. She had left a note in which Eleanor found. A voice from the grave spoke of lost hope, a fear of being a failure and her hatred of her unsettled life.

_If only we had known. _

Why didn't you trust me enough to tell me? What could have I done to help you trust me better? I'm so sorry, so, so sorry. I wish I would have saved you from your personal dungeon of doom, but I didn't. I'm so sorry. Instead of saving you, I am standing in front of hundreds of people, giving your eulogy. Please forgive me if I wet your face with tears. You know, I'm not the spokesperson of the group, that's Alvin's job. I like to rehearse for at least a month before speaking to a crowd. I was given mere days. You deserve better than my ramblings. I wish we would have intervened your misery and pulled you away from its' clutches. But we didn't. I didn't, and now it's too late. I miss you Jeanette.

_If only we had known. _

-Simon

**A/N This story is dedicated to the memory of Amy Jo, a friend and co-worker of mine. A few days ago, she decided that life wasn't worth living and overdosed on medicine. She was found three days later. We should have noticed the change in her, but we didn't and now it's too late. A manager tried to talk to her but couldn't see past Amy's mask. We're stuck having to pick up the pieces. Why, Amy? Why? **


End file.
